I'M STARVING!!!

I realized yesterday that many of you are probably wondering "How Nathan is doing." It's easy for us to get lost in our sleep deprived fog. So, I thought we'd let Nathan let you know how things are:

I AM STARVING!!! These "Mommy" and "Daddy" people seem to think it's appropriate to wait TWO minutes for a bottle from the fridge to warm up for me. Don't they know it's been THREE HOURS since I ate? Sometimes they even let me sleep longer than that! You would not believe how empty a baby boy's belly is when that happens. I am WASTING AWAY. And this "big sister" is no help at all. All she does is hug me and stuff. Lame. Sometimes these people even try to stick a torture device called a "pacifier" in my mouth. This deceptive device gives the impression that you could be eating, but there's NO MILK! What good is that?  I'M STARVING!

So, there you have it. Nathan is hungry. All the time. Unless he's asleep.

He really is doing well. Yesterday Allison did the home scale with him, and he weighs 10.5 pounds. That's right. Little man has gained 3 pounds in 5 weeks. So much for starvation. He even gave us 5 hours of continuous sleep last night.

Thanks for your prayers, friendship, and general interest.

Giving

Several of you have mentioned how touched you were by Greg's post on the story behind Nathan's name. I had thought about writing something very similar, but since he beat me (very eloquently, I might add) to the punch, I wanted to share my side.

Nathan is absolutely a gift. He is a gift that we have really come to appreciate in the last week, especially because, due to the flu scare, Greg and I were not allowed to see him during the first few days of his life. Greg got to see him when he was born, but as soon as they realized in the NICU that he was still contagious with the flu, they banned him. I got to see him a little bit later but then late Friday night I started running a fever and I was banned for the next 60 hours or so, until I was totally cleared of any suspicion of having the flu. After spending so much time anticipating and praying for the arrival of our little guy, it was very difficult to know that he was here and yet still not be able to see him or hold him. We had to rely on reports from others to hear that he was doing well, that he was eating, that he was sweet and adorable...all those first moments we had so looked forward to had to wait. Now we are able to empathize in a small way with those parents of preemies and very seriously ill babies who are unable to hold their little ones for months after they are born. As we have since the moment we first knew about Nathan's existence, we continued to trust him to the hands of God and of others while we waited to hold him ourselves. Finally, on Monday we both were cleared to see him and on Tuesday we brought him home. So far, he seems to be doing very well, acting like a normal baby despite his "little heart problem."

As Greg wrote, Nathan means gift, and for as long as we have known what his name would be, we have held it like a promise. But sometimes a gift works two ways. He is God's special gift to us, and we are so thankful for every single moment of his sweet life. Not only that, he is a gift that we have an opportunity to give back to God every day. This child was formed with a unique combination of our DNA (which somehow turned out pretty darn cute, thankfully!) and was given to us to love and cherish and raise, but ultimately, he is not ours. From the beginning, and especially once we discovered his heart block, we gave him, his health, and his future, to God. We continue to do that. We believe that God has a purpose for this child, just as He does for every child. God has already used Nathan in our lives and in many of your lives as well, to teach us faith that overcomes obstacles, peace in the midst of chaos, and the simple, everlasting truth that God is always good. We are thankful for the gift that he is, and we will continue to give him to God every day. We hope that you will join us.

A Gift

Receiving something you don't deserve is called a "gift." Often we don't recognize the gifts that are plopped in our laps. Less often we name our gifts long before we ever receive them.

Three years ago, we were planning for the arrival of our first child, and had a complicated time picking names. I don't know if you have ever noticed, but both of us have pretty strong opinions. There were names that one of us liked and the other vetoed without a thought.  We did easily determine we would use the middle name to honor special people in our lives. One day a couple of months before our first was born, Allison walked into my office and wrote down a boy name and a girl name on a tiny post it note.  The choices were made, and we both were happy.

We didn't find out the gender of our first, so we were as surprised as you when Katelyn Ashley was born.  There was no spiritual significance to the name, which is the American derivative of a classic Celtic name meaning "pure." It does fit.  Katelyn is "pure" in many ways, mostly in love and joy. Her middle name is in honor of Allison's best friend, who basically set us up. We think it has worked out alright.

When #2 started along, we had many intentions of repeating our pattern, and we did come up with a new girl name. The boy name had been set. No going back.  As most of you know, at 20 weeks we learned that we would be seeing a lot more of Dukeling part deux.  We had informed the ultrasound techs that we didn't want to know the gender.  Things rolled smoothly until one of the few sonograms Allison attended by herself. Apparently the tech lost her notes and said, "Well, he's really showing off his boy parts today! But then, he always is." (A bit of an exhibitionist apparently. Allison said NOTHING and we never told her she gave it away. She did it again in my presence a few weeks later.)  Anyway, when Allison came home she asked me if I would want to know certain information if it had become known. It was funny.

A while later she sent me a message and asked me if I remembered what Nathan means.  I replied immediately "Gift." And then I checked to make sure I was right.  We didn't put much thought into the meaning when the name was chosen three years earlier, but with everything that was happening, it took on even more special significance. Since that day, I have thanked the Lord for this special new gift.

It would be easy to be fearful and resentful of the issues that face this young new life.  The cardiologist confirmed yesterday that our baby has "complete heart block," which means the AV node in the heart isn't working and the top and bottom halves are completely out of sync.  Without miraculous intervention, he will likely need a pacemaker before adulthood. That means no roughhousing, no WWE reenactments, and no football. (With his gene pool, those things probably wouldn't have lasted long anyway.)

I am reminded that we don't always get what we think we want in a gift. We do receive the stewardship of making the most of what we receive.

Nathan Danny. We have been promised great things in this beautiful new baby boy. His very name, I believe, is prophetic. We did not choose it to be profound; we chose it because we like it. His name was set three years ago, not knowing if we would ever have a son. He is our gift. We don't know what the future holds, but he is that future. He carries the name of my dad, his grandfather who, fittingly it seems, battled heart problems much of his life.  And he will carry the name well.

I love you, my son.

Dad

Announcing...

Nathan Danny Duke
Born January 11 at 12:07 p.m.
7 lbs 10 oz, 20.5 inches

Mom and baby doing okay. More info and pics to come. Thanks for your prayers!

Merry Christmas to all!

I know, Christmas is over and done with and all that, but I do want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Or Happy Holidays. Or something like that.

We had a really lovely Christmas. My Mom and Dad came up from New Mexico, and we had our "traditional" Duke Christmas Eve dinner: Green chile stew, tortillas, tamales, chips and salsa, and rice and beans.  Yummy.  And definitely over my carb limit.  Our Christmas dinner was much more diabetic-friendly, with a lovely beef rib roast, cranberry-pear salad, green bean casserole, and yummy little cream cheese and bacon-filled crescent rolls.  I spent a lot of time in the kitchen and wore myself out pretty well, but I love cooking so I was happy.

Katelyn made out like a bandit on Christmas morning.  She was very blessed with many gifts from many people, and she spent most of the day playing with all the Play-doh, Duplos, sticker books, and other goodies that she received.  Perhaps her favorite was her new Rapunzel doll, "Blondie," which was the last thing she was playing with at the end of the day, and the first thing she hunted for this morning.

Our white Christmas was pretty, while it lasted.  We got a little dusting of snow that had melted by the end of the day, despite the fact that the temperature never rose much above 20 degrees.  It was nice to stay warm inside and enjoy everyone's company.

Katelyn loves everything about Christmas.  She loves the lights, the trees, Santa, reindeer, and especially the baby Jesus.  I love watching her innocent delight in the season.  I've always loved Christmas, too.  This year, I especially love the opportunity to be with those we love and give gifts in honor of the gift that God gave the world: the Savior, Christ the Lord.

We had an appointment today and everything is still okay with Dukeling2.  We're counting down the time until we get to meet our new little one in just a few weeks.  Thank you for all the continued prayers!

The Old Normal

There are moments in life that are hard to ignore. Our family has had plenty of excitement this year, but thankfully this past month has been a bit calmer than the previous two. If you're a regular Herald-Gazette reader, you'll know that October and November did not qualify in the "calm" category. Dukeling2 has already brought plenty of action to Snukeville. Lately, we've been on the road weekly for doctor appointments in Colorado Springs. Blissfully, the product of those trips has been rather dull.

Baby's heart rate is right where they want it to be, so we are on schedule for January arrival.  We haven't done much to the house in prep for the new bundle of joy. Actually, there isn't a lot to change; we're still in diaper mode for Katelyn, so life won't change much there. We do know that our sleep schedule will once again be turned upside down.  Allison is officially TBP (tire of being pregnant), but really that happened at about twelve weeks along. Never having experienced the "wonder," all I can do is be the intentionally patient expectant father.

Yesterday, I had one of those moments in life where I could only appreciate the current circumstances knowing that things are about to get much more exciting.  About mid-evening, I was reading a book and noticed the pleasantness of the status quo.  Katelyn was playing with a puzzle, Allison was working on a Christmas treat in the kitchen, and it hit me that this wouldn't be "normal" much longer.  So, I thanked the Lord for that special moment. 

One of the things I have worked hard to be is content in the present.  Truth is, our life right now is pretty good. For the last 2 2/3 years, we have experienced the joy of being the parents of a sweet, silly only child.  I really have enjoyed this stage of normalcy.  Katelyn is (almost) pure joy. She entertains herself easily, and is always surprising us with the next thing she learns.

Now, normal will change.  The next month will bring a new little human to Snukeville. So, I am working to be content in this moment, simply because it will be different soon. 

I don't really have anything profound to say or report.  I am just thankful that God has given us this special time with a special girl. His promise is that His plans for us give us hope and a future.  But there is something about appreciating the present.

Just a few seconds ago, Katelyn crawled into my lap to snuggle up while watching "Winnie the Pooh." She knows there's a baby in Mommy's belly, but she really has no clue how her life will be altered when the baby shows up.  So now we love on her, because all she knows is "right now." And I am happy to be her daddy.

 

"Give thanks in everything, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18 HCSB

Finally, an update!

Hi everyone! So sorry I haven't updated in a couple of weeks! The holidays are in full swing, and things are just a little chaotic at this time of year, even without considering everything going on in our lives right now.  There was a time when women went into seclusion for the last half of pregnancy.  That doesn't seem like such a bad idea at the moment.  I do not have the energy or the holiday spirit to keep up with all the various social events and other obligations we have going right now, and yet we're just as caught up in the holiday whirl as any of the rest of you crazy people!  I suppose it's probably fun and that's why we do it, right?

We had an appointment in Colorado Springs and saw the fetal cardiologist.  He confirmed what he suspected at our last appointment with him, which is that the baby's heart block is a 2nd degree block instead of a complete block, which is how he diagnosed it at first.  A 2nd degree block is not as bad, and as long as that heart rate stays in the "safe zone" he's pretty optimistic about the baby's chances for a fairly normal start to life.  A pacemaker is still likely at some point down the road. 

It looks like we're going to be making weekly trips to Colorado Springs until this baby comes (probably only about 6 weeks from now!)  Of course that means more expenses for gas, etc., and more juggling schedules to get Katelyn to and from where she needs to be, around all these appointments.  Just a few more things to add to the chaos of the Christmas season, no big deal!  Also, I don't like the doctors in Colorado Springs as well as I like my doctor here in Pueblo, which is something of an additional strain on me.  I've struggled with my attitude, particularly regarding food, as I munch on celery and hummus instead of the massive piece of chocolate cake and the Chick-fil-A Peppermint Chip milkshake that I really want.  So if I've been crabby and snapped at any of you, I apologize and I hope you'll forgive both past and future occurrences. 

Please continue to pray for our baby's health, our sanity, and our finances.  Know that we are still so thankful for all the prayers and love that have been poured out on us already.  We are looking forward to a few weeks from now, when we get to hold this sweet blessing from God in our arms!